Have you been committing crimes against your stomach instead of cooking healthy, nutritious food?
Do you find yourself trading convenience for quality at dinner time?
Do you think cooking with fresh ingredients is difficult or expensive?
Do you feel lousy and lazy after ordering take out food AGAIN?
Maybe you’re thinking, “What’s wrong with eating pre-packaged foods, processed foods, frozen foods, and foods with ingredients I can’t spell?”
Well, it’s a crime to treat your body that way!
These food choices are unhealthy, unexciting, and unfulfilling.
What if there were such thing as The Food Police?
They’d investigate and discover these poor choices.
What would you do if The Food Police caught you committing your crimes?
What would you do?
Well, you would need excuses!
I’ve come up with a list of things the Food Police might hear from you…
The Speeding Excuse:
“Officer, I don’t have the time to cook.”
“I’m in a big hurry!”
“It’s just quicker and easier to go to the drive-thru.”
The Broken Speedometer Excuse:
“Officer, the oven temperature is off, so I can’t cook anything.”
“I have an electric stove and I don’t have the right pans.”
“It was the recipe’s fault.”
The Impending Event Excuse:
“Officer, It’s an emergency, my pizza is waiting for me.
“My kids have basketball tonight and this fast food place is on the way.”
I have to tell you that just as with real policemen,
none of these excuses would soften The Food Police.
However, there are some changes that you could make to your eating habits that might grant you some leniency from the food police.
If The Food Police Are Watching You:
Drive Directly To The Farmers Market And show those coppers that you know where the freshest ingredients are.
Show Them Your Spice Club Card The skillful use of herbs and spices demonstrates your innocence from bland boring food cooked at home.
Practice Basic Cooking Methods If your house is bugged by the food police, you’ll want them to hear the sounds of a basic sauté method, the sizzle of a sauté pan, the evaporation of your deglazing liquid to make a sauce, and the compliments of your family.
Finding, identifying, and cooking the freshest foods will help you to keep the food police at bay.
Funny!